After All This Time

Hello.. Its really been awhile

I promised to write a lot this year and it seems it will be failed. Because Im too busy. Okay, scratch that. Im too lazy to express myself. I'd rather keep it in my heart and them go. If its too hard, I try to ignore it.

So, things happened a lot. My last post was about my beloved friend who passed away. And yap, it was last year. Last June, exactly on my birthday, was her 1 year since she left. It still feels unreal. I still can hear her voice calling me and laugh out loud. It still weird to think we are not seeing the same sky anymore.

Honestly, when I got so down Im thinking about her a lot. How happy she will be now. Forgetting this crappy place :(

Okay, that sounds depressed. No worries. I am not. It just happens sometimes and I still see the good thing about living and breathing in this world.

Anywho, I did same things and new things this year. Im still single and got questioned why I dont have Bf (hey, who doesnt want???), still working with kids and need to handle their parents either. I watch movie every week (If its not I will be not sane. Lol). I have new coworkers which are nice and fun. We laugh a lot and talk the same topic almost everyday. I have more students than last year and more boys and it means more troubles. I watched my fave boyband's concert this year also. So happy. Its pricey but yeah its worth it :)

Next, I will do anything new. More exercise (ohh fat why you are so mean sometimes). Travelling abroad with sister next month and I hope I can find a new place as my own this year (far from my budget but I have to try)

Most of them are good things and make me proud :)

Its a small thing but Im thankful Im survive and when I wrote it in my agenda it feels so nice to recall it.

But like a coin with 2 sides, there's bad things also. Things that didnt work out like I want.

I feel my relationship with my closest person starts to shattered. The more we grow up, the more I realized we are totally like a stranger even if we stay in one room. We were just talking a  bit and we ended up looking at our phones. Usually, having conversation was so nice, but it came so dry. And when I try to talk much, it feels weird and unneeded. Because there is somebody else already.

Oh I wish we were back to our younger days.

We didnt have much money but we talked a lot.

These days, it changes.

I read somewhere, it says ' if you cannot manage your relationship, you will lose it'. I was scared when I read this. I couldnt imagine myself lose the person I grew with all this time. But as days go by, nothing's change. So, I decided to let go. Yes, I dont want to hold my hope anymore. Maybe its the best. They said, blood is thicker than water. That's true but I wouldnt believe things will be the same like we used to.

So here I am, keep the things that I have now and for those who needs to go, I let them go...