Welcome December!

Yay.. Its December :)

How come its arrived so fast?? It seems like yesterday I celebrated new year and then celebrated my birthday and now I can see Christmas tree in front of a mall in my city. Im also starting to play christmas song..

Well I've been taught about time the more I grow up *old:p*
Its precious and there is no return.

Looking back I realized I have 31 days or less to see what I have done all this year. Im changed and everybody is changing. Some things are getting worst but some of them are better. I can see tears but joyful in the other day. And also about death. Im ready to go but I dont want to be left before my loved ones.

December
Lets see what will happen anyway...

Happy Birthday, Daddy :)

Thank you for being my father
Thank you for our deep conversation about life
Thank you for your advices. I know I cut your words sometimes and even disagree for some words you've said but usually in the end I know you are the right one ;p
Thank you for your helping especially on my emergency status
Thank you for you for your call
Thank you for your concerns
Thank you for your anger
Thank you for your disappointment on my choice but still believe in me when I said I have to do it
Thank you for your trust
Thank you for jokes
Thank you for your understanding about the way Im thinking
Thank you for being here and there in my important event of my life. Next.. I still hope you can see how good I am with your future son-in-law..haha :D
Thank you for all your difficulties in the past. I know you've been through a lot even you wont tell it all
Thank you for being alive and call me your daughter
I know I still dont give you anything worthy but still you love me the same..
Thank you... :')

My Best Friend's Wedding

Last Saturday, September 7th, 2013 I went to my friend's wedding. Every friends' wedding is special to me including this time. She's my colleague at work and she is one of my best friends right now, I even call her 'cici (chinese) or onni (korean) for big sister because she is one year older than me.

We've been friends since I was working in my current workplace now. She loves to talk while I love to listen. She loves to write and penpalling and suddenly she brought back my memories about those hobbies when I was kid. Now Im back to my old hobbies because of her. I have snail mail friends from abroad because of her.

We didnt go outside our time at workplace often but we had once spending our Christmas holiday in Jogja. We fought once but then we reconciled :) I guess thats what friend means. Friends can not always doing things or hanging out together. There is a time when we annoyed with each other but we still can not get rid of them from our life because they are too precious and we love them.

Sorry Im out of topic :p I supposed to write about her wedding, right?

Well.. Overall Im soooooo happy for her because I know she is a strong woman who fight for her love. When she and the groom walking on the aisle, I wanted to cry because it was so beautiful and so touching. The pianist played Canon D and it was totally match with them :)

they looked so great :)

from the back

kyaa.. cant leave without a snap with them ;p

they are cute couple, right?

Anyway, onni.. congrats for your wedding. I hope you were happy. There are always time when you will get sad, angry, scared or confused but I believe that's why you have him as a husband. God bless your marriage ^_________^

*Ps

I found this book on the library in my church. Ahhh,, marriage..married.. I feel so old already :p

Im Getting Married

Lol ;p
Not me anyway guys :D

Actually I got a text this afternoon from one of my close friend. She said she wants to get married soon about next October. I kinda thought she was joking but then she is actually telling the truth. SHE"S GETTING MARRIED!!!! Oh :O

I dont know why, this year most of my same-aged friends are in romantic days and married one by one. Starting from my not-so-close friend I just felt 'oh..okay...congrats' and then my close enough friend I became 'what??she's married? Oh..alright..congrats' until my close friend now I got so surprised and became 'WHATTT???? She's getting married??? What about me???' haha..Lol :D

Im happy for them. Dont get me wrong ;p
I just feel something odd in me first. Odd because they are my same aged friends and I still have no serious thought about marriage yet. I dont even want soooo bad about my future husband nor boyfriend. I dont even finish reading 'Lady in Waiting' book :)
And the other feeling is *actually* sad. Why I feel being left? You know.. the feeling when your friends- your close friends are gone one by one. Leaving you alone and alone T.T

Recently when I got this feeling I miss my *future* husband. Wakakakkk.. see.. I actually still believe Im getting married someday. YES! SOMEDAY!!! Sometimes I thought about him and wondering what is he doing. Hihi :p

One of my coworker and has the same age with me told me she has the same situation with me and currently praying for her future husband. Wow... this is it.
I think about him sometimes but never really serious to pray for him :(
Im al little scared to meet him actually :(

Is it the right time? Or it isnt?

I always talk to my students. Sometimes when they are eating they try to play also and I said "Children... there is a time to play and there is a time to eat. And now you all are eating so just eat"
Better words for me I guess, "There is a time to think about him and there is a time to SERIOUSLY pray for him. And now you CAN pray for him"
well.. okay.. noted :)

Hard To Be Humble

Today I got so many lessons. And its kinda disappointing :(

It started from a simple wish from me. I guess it was so simple. I've asked and hoped from several months ago but made sure about last week. Please.. please.. please make it happen...

But then reality came and the result was totally different from what I expected. I was so disappointed and angry. Why.. was that a big problem? Can I get something that I want just for now? Why everything looks different but Im in the same situation? I've been through hard time a year so why cant I get what I chose... hiks..hiks..

That's it! The monster named selfishness appeared.
See.. I can not accept what I wish. That moment I got hit so hard about acceptance. I didnt know how to accept is hard enough until today. I guess I always get what I want lately so I forget about things that I cant control by myself.

When I get what I wish all the time, everything would be so natural and ordinary. But when I cant get what I wish, I learn to ask why. Sometimes I can get the answer immediately but sometimes I have no clue at all and that's the time I need to be more humble  and learn step by step to accept. Im not saying Im a superhuman who can be changed in a minute. Nope... Even now its still disappointing. But at least I want to try to make myself to be down to earth.

Its hard. Honestly it does... But then I realize again when I try to learn those things I make my wish again... Wish comes even from bitter things...

Farewell Faithful

So this day has came. Its been a year and time to say goodbye.. :(
Yep.. today is my last day with my students in Faithful Class because this is the end of semester. Tomorrow they will start their long holiday and while the day after tomorrow I will meet their parents to give them their progress report. And then next month maybe we will be meet again but not in the Faithful Class anymore. Because they will go up to the next level and meet their new friends and teachers.

Usually we are- the teachers are also can be changed in any level, so maybe I still have change to meet them again but its not possible all of them in 1 class. My 21 little babies.. ahh..I shouldnt call them babies anymore :p
My 21 little cutie pies :D

my students love to play..everytime they've been asked what have we done today, they will shout happily to say "PLAYING"..hehe..

But when they learn something they can be soooo serious too :)

and they really love water..

sometimes we have outing

ohh..they can act too! :)

with their unlimited imagination...

do you think they are sleeping? nope :p they just close their eyes for awhile and then they start to move around again.. they have lots of energy by the way :)

they can be smile :)

they can be laugh :D

and sometimes they can be cry too :(

But this year is totally wonderful  :')
I can see innocent, imagination, good laugh, imperfection, growing, friendship, cuteness, chattering, fighting, warm hug, sharing, surprised kiss, and so on.
I wont forget these kids :)

Faithful class.. please grow healthily, happily and faithfully. Hope to see you again :)

today's last taken pic in our class.. arent, they cute?

Happy Birthday Mom :)

Thank you for giving birth of me
Thank you for taking care of me
Thank you for buying me so many things
Thank you for sending me to study faraway from you
Thank you for your calls
Thank you for stopping me for doing stupid things that I would regret for the rest of my life
Thank you for your trust
Thank you for your loud voice sometimes when I act badly
Thank you for your tears when I was sick
Thank you for visiting me here
Thank you for your laugh
Thank you for your good cooks
Thank you for your prays
Thank you for your hopes and faith

Thank you for not being a perfect mom for your imperfect daughter...

Love you, Mummy ^_____^
 

The Second Man

and so.. recently I guess Im out of my mind lately...

The days before that lately days I was bored with romantic movies. You know what Im a movie freak!!! Especially korean movie.hehe.. Well.. many people thought korean movies/dramas are not far from romantic things and some of my friends hate it. They said soup opera is cheap and boring.

Well.. Im not really agree with them but Im not saying all of them are good. Actually some of them  are sucks :p Especially lately. So I liked to watch thriller or horror instead. My eyes couldnt blink when I see the suspense story. For your info, korean thriller movie is pretty good. Trust me :)

If  you want I can recommendeed some of hem.

Alright back to my nonsense..

Known for my moody character, I got bored one day and started to dig a website which shared streaming videos for korean drama and I tried to watch an old *well..not really old actually* drama in 2012 named “I Need Romance”.

I wont tell you what exactly the drama about. Im not a good story teller :p

But I can tell you what I feel about my delusional mode on. haha.. That drama brought me into my imagination about my ideal type.hoho..

Those things really great to play with my imagination especially about love story *hoek :P*

Anyway, as usual I ‘fell’ in love for one of the character of that drama. Not the main or lead man but the SECOND man. That supporting actor.. Kyaaa >0<.. He’s truly my type!!! When you watch that drama you’ll see what Im talking about :p

And what’s wrong with that anyway? Is that abnormal? Well.. I realized lately, how easy I am to be fallen for the second man from a story. Haha :D I dont know why?

For me, the second man is mostly the nicest one, gentle, caring and protecting. Sometimes they did that quitely yet they can impulsive too. I usually yell for the woman who has been so stupid for choosing the wrong guy and didnt see how great the second man. And most of people said its happy ending for me its not happy ending at all. How about my second man? The writer is too cruel. The stupid woman leave him and said goodbye just for the first man. Hmpf..

But anyway, lucky for the woman who has 2 man *or maybe more :p* and fighting for her. Its really cool especially if both of them are worthwhile it means that woman also someone who can be worth to be fought for :)

And I have no experience for this in my life. I have no men who fought for me so far.hehe.. What if it would happen for me one day? Lets say 2 man with different characters are coming into my life. Who would be I choose? Hahaha..

See.. I said this is totally nonsense. My friends right. Do not watch too many korean movies or drama or you will get delusional :) But its entertaining by the way. Just take the good things and if it makes your imagination wider than before its good! Just dont forget to keep your feet on the ground and look around you. Reality is still the best!!!

Fighting Nita ^^

 

Ibu Kita Kartini

“Kami di sini memohon diusahakan pengajaran dan pendidikan anak perempuan, bukan sekali-kali karena kami menginginkan anak-anak perempuan itu menjadi saingan laki-laki dalam perjuangan hidupnya. Tapi karena kami yakin akan pengaruhnya yang besar sekali bagi kaum wanita, agar wanita lebih cakap melakukan kewajibannya, kewajiban yang diserahkan alam sendiri ke dalam tangannya: menjadi ibu, pendidik manusia yang pertama-tama."

Demikian sebagian kutipan kata-kata ibu kita Kartini di bukunya Habis Gelap Terbitlah Terang.  Hayoo siapa yang tidak mengenal ibu Kartini?

Nama lengkapnya Raden Ajeng Kartini. Lahir di Jepara pada tanggal 21 April 1879. Anak seorang bangsawan yang setelah lulus SD gak diijinin ngelanjutin sekolah ke jenjang selanjutnya tapi malah dipingit buat dinikahin.
Buat menghilangkan kesedihan Kartini kecil banyak baca buku. Dan dari bukulah Kartini tertarik dengan kemajuan berpikir wanita Eropa. Timbul pikiran Kartini untuk memajukan wanita Indonesia. Wanita Indonesia juga layak mendapatkan pendidikan. Kartini mulai mengumpulkan teman-temannya untuk diajar tulis menulis dan ilmu pengetahuan lainnya. Ia juga menulis surat dengan sahabat-sahabatnya di Belanda. Dan kemudian menulis surat kepada J.H Abendanon memohon memberinya beasiswa untuk belajar di Belanda.
Beasiswa tersebut tidak sempat Kartini ambil karena harus menikah dengan Raden Adipati Joyodiningrat. Untungnya sang suami yang mengerti akan cita-cita Kartini. Ia juga mendukung Kartini mendirikan sekolah wanita yang ia namakan "Sekolah Kartini".
Beliau meninggal diusia yang sangat muda, 25 tahun pada tanggal 17 September 1904.

Ibu Kartini. Cantik yak :)

Gak kebayang kalo sampe sekarang cewe Indo gak bisa sekolah :O

Berarti mungkin gue hanya punya ijazah SD trus disuruh tinggal di rumah nunggu dijodohin lalu dinikahin ama cowo yang gak gue kenal. Trus beranak pinak, ngendon di rumah mulu ngurus keluarga dan dengan naas melihat anak perempuan gue juga bakalan bernasib sama ama emaknya. Dohhhhh.. gak kebayang :(

Kebayang gak sih betapa pesatnya peran cewe zaman sekarang. Cewe dah ada yang bawa pesawat, dokter, tentara, programmer, supir, bahkan presiden! Da gitu bebas-bebas aja milih cita-cita tanpa perlu takut only boys can do that :)

Thank you Ibu Kartini. Terima kasih juga buat orang-orang disekeliling beliau yang membantu sehingga saya bisa mengecap pendidikan dengan baik. Saya percaya seorang pahlawan tidak bekerja sendirian untuk menghasilkan karya bagi orang disekelilingnya. Akan selalu ada orang-orang yang menyertai langkah kita dan percaya dengan impian kita.
Ibu Kartini dan orangtuanya. Saya yakin saat orangtuanya menyediakan banyak buku dan koran di rumahnya serta saat ayahnya menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan Kartini, ini sangat membantu Kartini membangun impiannya dan berusaha mewujudkannya.
Ernita dan orangtuanya. Saat si bapak dan si mamah menyediakan banyak ensiklopedia, langganan BOBO, membantu soal cerita matematika buat si Ernita kecil serta merelakan putrinya sekolah jauh diluar pandangan mereka, ini juga sangat membantu Ernita merangkai mimpi :p

Ibu Kartini dan sahabat-sahabatnya. Kartini mungkin lebih banyak berkomunikasi dengan sahabatnya melalui surat. Namun persahabatan itulah yang membantu Kartini untuk membagi impian dan harapannya akan kemajuan wanita Indonesia.
Ernita dan sahabatnya. Persahabatan lah yang banyak membuka mata Ernita untuk merendahkan hati melihat betapa banyaknya orang yang jauh lebih pintar dan berbakat darinya. Dan mereka tidak merendahkannya melainkan mendukungnya bahkan mengajaknya merangkai mimpi lebih banyak lagi and fight for it :')

Ibu Kartini dan suaminya. Pasti sulit mengerti wanita zaman dulu yang sebenarnya kebanyakan pusing soal gizi anak kok tiba-tiba yang satu ini malah sibuk mikirin wanita lain. Apalagi buat pria yang baru nikah dan juga sekolah. Kalo picik mah pasti dibentak dah si Kartini nya bilang "Udah..ngapain ngurusin orang lain. Kamu pinter juga ujung-ujungnya di dapur. Kalo kamu pinter ntar kamu pake buat ngajarin anak kita aja deh". Mana mau die istrinya lebih pinter dari die.hehe.. Tapi gak begitu buat sang suami. Dia malah mendukung dan membantu Kartini mendirikan sekolah. Cool :)
Ernita dan ... ehm sayangnya gue belum nikah. Belom tau tar dia gimana :p Yah maunya yah gak jauh-jauhlah dari mas Raden. wakakakk.. tuh kan bahkan Ibu Kartini menginspirasi juga buat dapet jodoh ;p

Anyway, selamat hari Ibu Kartini. Mari berani bermimpi, berpengharapan dan berjuang seperti Kartini ^^

Perayaan Hari Kartini di sekolah. Guru pake baju tradisional. Im in Banjarmasin clothes! :)

Good Things About Aches

Yess.. its GOOD things not ANNOYING nor BAD things because of something happen on us or our beloved ones.
But why I said its good? Am I happy when Im sick? Or do I scream happily when my family get sick? Wo..wo..wo.. wait. Im not saying that :p
I hate to be sick and seeing others too :)

But before I tell you how good those aches, I want to share a little about 'hard lesson' that I've got since in the beginning of this year.

It started from my mom.
I got called from her about last February. She told me she felt sick when she wanted to *sorry* pee. I know this feeling, because last year I've been suffering for bladder infection. Anyone who knows this ache will know how painful the feeling. Yep..its my mistake who often delay my business in the bathroom. So I told my mom to drink a lot and should not delayed if she want to go to the toilet. She did.
But the pain became worst day after day especially when she felt something burning in her stomach. So she was taken to the bigger hospital near my hometown. At that hospital, the infection has totally healed but the burning feeling was still remind. Even the doctor didnt even know what to do anymore because all the test that was taken telling her body was already okay.
So, my mom was taken again to another city, to the biggest hospital. Same problem and same treatment there. All doctors said my mom was okay based from her test. Isnt that weird? We got stressed especially my mom. She even thought devil was behind those painful.
Im not saying Im not believe that there are evil in this world but because I believe our God is the One who control everything, I believe He wont let devil come along through her pain forever.
After several days in there mom was getting better and she finally back to our home and does her daily activities :)

But, cloud still remains..
Next days I got call from mom. She sounded panic. I knew something was not good. She told me my youngest sibling, my brother was hospitalized. He's actually live not far from me. We are in the same province but different district.
My brother's face was swell and his previous doctor suggested him to go to hospital because it might be kidney problem. Oh no.. what again!!!! It was not really a long time since my mom and then now my mom.
And after we brought him to the hospital, it was true its a problem with her kidney. It was neprotic syndrome. It made my brother's face like fighting with someone because it was swollen. It happened when water inside our body is not out properly.
And then again I watched my family was laying down in the hospital. I was stressed honestly especially when we wait for his albumin going back to normal.
After several days, he finally back to his place. Me and my little sister prepared his room and his stuff so he could cook by himself. Because he needs to pay more attention for his foods now. Seeing him last week even he gets thinner than before but so far is healthier made me relieve.

That's the end? Nope..
I got called this afternoon from my little sister. She said her back is hurt and even her left hand feel heavier than the other. She knows something not right and decided to go to hospital later. And then...

WHAT exactly happens to my family now????
Why aches are so easy come to us???
I kept asking that to myself. We used to be so fine. I mean some of us just getting cough and influenza but after that we are good. Why now?

And then I decide not to look up only from my side. Im trying *SO HARD* to see the good things from all of this situation. Here are what I saw:


This World is definitely Not Our Home
Not trying to be so holly here. But I know our real home has no aches at all and this world is just our school. After I graduated Im going home and so my beloved ones. So this HOME brought me hopes. Hoping that someday we will gather in our REAL home with no pain, no aches anymore.

Death
I got this lesson in the hospital when I saw an old man passed away. He was supposed to be back for home that day because he was better. But when his family came to pick him up and prepared his welcoming home, his chest suddenly hurt and collapsed. And then he passed away. I was so shock because night before he was gone I saw him watching TV. I even know what program it was. He would be have no idea it was his last programmed he watched, right?
Im not saying Im ready to see my loved ones die. Just think about it Im trembling. Who would? Im ready to leave this world but honestly Im really not ready to say until we meet again to my loved ones?
So this thing reminds me to be more care for them now! Not later.

Being Healthy is Expensive but being Unhealthy is More *and more* Expensive
I realized this when I bought a human albumin liquid. Its soooooo expensive!!! Its only 100 mL and so easy to be vanished but need a lot of money. My brother need it until 7 bottles I guess. I counted his medicine, room and doctor bills, it was so hard for me to understand how God really Great to prepare all of that.
From every aches that my family felt Im more concerned about my own health right now. Especially I lost weight recently.
Maybe in the past I would shout horray for losing some weight but now I learn to be careful if something happen in my body including weight.. :p
I also try to cook by myself and release some ingredients such as fat, oil and salt. One thing that I still hard to do is exercise *wink* I dont like it. I want to lay on my bed as much as I can. But lately I can feel my body is so stiff and it reminds me again I SHOULD do some routine exercise! Ouch.. Who said this going to be easy????

More Alert for the Sound of My Cellphone
Why does my cellphone brought good things now? Well.. I used to be sooooo hate for being disturbed by phone sometimes. I liked to turn my cell off, didnt pick up the phone and didnt reply text. And the worst was I often left it in my bag or in my room so I didnt hear the sound and just saw it so many missed calls from my mom or unread text from my friends. If they asked me where was I going or what happened I just laugh and said sorry. So bad right? :(
But now.. I activate 2 of my cellphones all day and all night! Now, Im so care for the sound whether its calling or text.
Its because Im far from my family. My parents, my sisters and brothers are spreading around. So we can easily keep in touch just by phone. Now I know how worry my mom when I was not picking up her phone when I called her and she was in the kitchen. I got worried so easy right now but I know it makes me more care for them and calling them regularly. Im so regret for what I've done before.


Now, can you see why I said those aches bring good things and changes to me? Im not saying Im not scared. I am!! But this fear never bring good things. All I can do is praying. Someone said to me its not enough to face aches. But I dont know, just by praying I get strength and stand up and ready to fight my worries. Great doctors, good nurses, best hospital, medicines, healthy foods, good treatments and finally heal are definitely grace. And Im really thankful for that. That's why, I also learn to be more and more thankful. Its hard to believe, even in the worst situation there is always... there is always something that I can thankful with...

Friendship

Someone said...

" If you have good friends no matter how life is sucking, they can make you laugh "

Sometimes I believe that, but sometimes honestly I dont.
Its really sad when knowing your good friend is not good enough for being your friend...

I realized that when I was down. The world turned their back on me and so they were. I run to them and told them everything but they just saw me and stared at me as a pitiful person. One said, "Well.. I dont know about that", that's all and the other one didnt even want to know.

I cried a lot that day and woke up in the morning with new thoughts...

I realized they just my friends not my good friends...

Im not pretending so easy to say how easy to forgive and forget especially to someone that you love. Im really have a hard time to do that. Im still trying to let everything goes like we used to be.

Good thing is at that bad situation I could see another friend. Good friends are still exist!

Meet Feiming!

Hello.. its been awhile since I didnt write here. Kinda busy and lots of thought lately :p

This time I want you to meet one of my students. Feiming :)

Actually she is my former student in the playgroup last year. Now, we're in Kindergarten A level but in different class.

What makes me want to write about her in my blog? Well.. I want to write about all of my little babies one by one here :D Cause this is my blog, this is my corner where I can share about pieces of my life including my job *wink*

And I guess she's one of them... :)

Just like other children, Feiming is a special kid.
She loves to smile. She can easily to laugh. Sometimes she fights with her friends but sometimes she treats them nicely. She likes to talk and understand what Im saying so well. She is a good listener especially when she sits beside me. She doesn't picky for foods and tough enough when she's been hurt.


Im not her class teacher anymore and we cant meet as often as before, but when we meet she will shout my name loudly and give her big smile. Im so familiar with her calling especially the sound of 'R' from my name, so its like "Ms ERRRRRRRniiiiii" and then I will shout back "Feimingggggg". Lol :)

But the best moment with her is everyday at school when we meet, she will spread her arms and asking for hug. I realized she didnt like to be kissed so I prefer give her a hug better. This is become our habit when we met.

One day we met in front of her class. I wanted to go to the  at the time *I should pass her class everytime I want to go to the bathroom* As usual she called my name and I smiled back to her and went to the bathroom directly. After I washed my hands I wanted to go back to my class and I saw her waiting for me still in front of her class. Calling my name and when I said she should be on her class at the time. She said unexpectedly,

"But you dont hug me yet"

Im speechless. And feel so touch. How come little thing like my hug is so important for her? After I hug her and said her to be good, she run to her class. I was thinking a lot that day and learned about little thing that we give to others can be meaningful for them.

Now, she's not the only one who's asking for hug. I want a hug too :) When I call her, she will run towards me, smiling and give her big smile. Maybe its just little thing but for me, its meaningful and Im thankful..

Thats Feiming :)

Apa Yang Anda Lihat?

--- sebuah renungan dari buku Tuhan Datang Mendekat oleh Max Lucado ---

Seandainya orang hanya melihat popularitas, ia akan menjadi cermin yang mencerminkan apa saja yang dibutuhkan untuk diterima. Sekalipun ia "lagi jaman", ia tidak jelas. Sekalipun ikut mode tetapi tidak menarik. Keyakinan pribadi berubah dengan musim. Kepercayaan pribadi tampil dengan aneka ragam warna, setiap warna untuk malam berbeda. Ia boneka yang tergantung dari seribu tali. Ia penyanyi seratus lagu, tak satupun lagu dia. Penampilannya berubah sesuai dengan latar. Ini begitu sering dilakukannya, sehingga ia tidak tahu lagi siapa mau diperagakannya. Ia sekian banyak orang dan sekaligus tak seorang pun.

Seandainya orang hanya melihat kekuasaan, ia akan menjadi binatang buas -berkeliling mencari mangsa, berburu dan mengikuti mangsa yang sulit ditangkap. Pengakuan orang banyak adalah mangsanya dan orang-orang adalah hadiahnya. Pencariannya tak berhenti-henti. Selalu ada dunia baru yang harus ditaklukkan atau orang lain untuk dikendalikan. Hasilnya, ia yang hanya melihat kekuasaan turun derajat menjadi binatang, pemakan bangkai yang tak puas-puas, dikendalikan bukan oleh kemauan dirinya tetapi oleh dari luar.

Seandainya orang hanya melihat kesenangan, ia hanya mencari hal-hal yang menggetarkan hatinya, hidup hanya di bawah lampu-lampu semarak, kenikmatan yang lepas kendali, dan hiburan-hiburan yang merangsang. Dipacu oleh demam bergairah, ia mengejar kesenangan demi kesenangan dan memuaskan nafsunya yang tidak puas-puas untuk mengalami sensasi, hanya sebentar saja, lalu menjenguk lagi ke sensasi berikut. Ia terdorong olah nafsu, bersedia menjual jiwanya kalau perlu asalkan ia dapat menikmati sekali lagi satu balapan yang membuat hatinya dak-dik-duk, satu kali pertunjukan selingan yang membawa dia lepas dari dunia yang sesungguhnya dengan janji-janji yang tidak ditepati dan komitmen yang harus dilaksanakan.

Mereka yang mencari popularitas, kekuasaan, dan kesenangan. Hasil akhir sama saja: kepedihan karena harapan yang tak terpenuhi.

Hanya dengan Penciptanya, manusia sungguh-sungguh menjadi orang. Sebab, dengan melihat Sang Pencipta, manusia melihat sekilas ia sebenarnya direncanakan menjadi apa. Dia yang akan melihat Allah, kemudian akan melihat apa sebenarnya alasan kematian itu dan tujuan dari waktu. Nasib? Hari esok? Kebenaran? Semuanya pertanyaan yang terjangkau oleh manusia yang mengenal sumbernya.

Dengan melihat Yesus, manusia melihat sumbernya :)

I am (NOT) Bulletproof and Titanium

Im just an ordinary person who can be hurt even by words by texts...

I got text today from someone and it hurts me a lot. Why.. oh why God??? Why this person is exist in my life? Why she did that and not telling me directly? Why does she sooooo annoying?

Those questions were running inside my head.

Its just the beginning. I called my mom who's sick and taken care in the hospital. She said this morning she felt sick again and had to take another medicine. Its been so long she feels the pain on her stomach. Im so scared and have nothing to do except praying.

And then again. Why Lord?

As usual, when something doesnt work as I planned before, I ask why. But when it happens like what I want, I dont need to ask why. I feel I deserve it.

So selfish, right? :(

I know again and again how I can not faraway from His grace. I cant do anything except leaning into His arms. I cant rely on to people around me. Those things again are trying to teach me that my heart is NOT mine. Because after I cried, then I prayed, I feel so relieved that there is SOMEONE who can take care of those.

My matters and worries are not suddenly vanish. But there is a feeling. Warm and relaxing.. that Im not alone.. Thank You...

Welcome January!!

Hello.. :D
Yeah.. yeah I know its soooo late to say welcome to the new year 2013. Im sorry for being so late to write it on this blog.
Well.. anyway, its been a week Im here back to Bandung after 2 weeks holiday in my hometown, TARUTUNG ^_____^

Started from December 21st, my sister came from Manado, because we were going back home together on December 24th. So, we really had fun in Bandung :)

Cihampelas Walk was our fave place to hang out

 

 

 

 

 

Trying new dishes is my sis' hobby and we wanted to try India Resto but we were so confused cause the way they served us was totally like in Korea/Japanese Resto. We even asked for one another 'is it really india's resto?'. haha :D Anyway, we ate like a fool and didnt care but still hungry..;p

 

Finally, we were home on Monday nite December 24th. Nothing much has changed in my town. It was still quite and cold as usual. But our neighborhood was more crowded. I got a little confused about our street because so many new houses. My parents and my little sister *who came first* greeted us and I looked at my home.
Ahh.. its soooo good tobe home :)

In the morning, mom woke me up and we started our activities as a family like years ago. Working together! Mom, big sis and I was preparing breakfast, lil sis was cleaning up our house, dad and lil bro was checking our car. Ahh.. there was one person was missing at that time. Our youngest person in our home. My lil bro who was struggle with his final exam and couldnt attend Christmas and New Year holiday. He will go home in the end of January after his exam.

Anyway, show must go on. I wont miss any event in my family. Well.. yeah not every event I can join with, but most of them were fun. Check it out :D

First event was 'Bamboo Cannon'. Some kind of parade between junior schooler including my dad's school. The place was our city's main river 'Aek Sigeaon'. The sound of those cannons totally were noisy but I have to admit it, it was cool :)

We wanted to visit a town near Tarutung called 'Huta Ginjang' and I saw this. haha.. These days even police was excited to celebrate Christmas even on their duty

So, from Huta Ginjang (1550 m dpl!) we can see this view. Toba Lake is awesome. I was wondering this place should be one of the best tourism destination but hmpf.. way to go Indonesia!!!

Never forget to take precious pic every moment! With my parents and my big sis. Look at my dad's expression. Isnt he so cute? haha.. Love you all ^^

On our way back home, we met this young breeder with his buffalo. He has lots of buffalos and he was alone. What a tough kid. He looked so shy first when we asked him to pose but then he gave his best shot for us and even thanked us. I thank to you kiddo actually :)

Visiting my grandma's village was our next destination. My eyes were totally being refreshed here. All green as I could see so far. I wish Grandma was here :(

Oppung or Grandma has gone. Forever. But I know, She knew already that she is in her real HOME right now. Tears are still falling even we could only see were just a cross and the ground but we know our heart are here to let you go. Until we meet again :')

ahh.. I wish I could see you turned into yellow :)

When I was kid and visiting the village, my whole day wouldnt be missed without playing in this river. Being tanned? Ahh.. didnt matter all :) Just playing and had some fun. Sadly, I only visited this river couple of minutes because we had to go back. Yeah.. that's okay. When I heard the stream, felt the water and stepped on the stone, it was more enough to bring my memories about my childhood :') *srott..srott*

Days went by and I was pondering why the clock seemed so faster than before???
I got only one day left already. Huaaaaa T_T, didnt wanna leave right now.
Before we went to Medan, we visited our mascot in our town.

Salib Kasih or Cross of Love. Lots of people were there and most of them from outside our town. Yep.. if you visit Tarutung, you cannot miss to go to up on the hill and saw this biggg cross and look at the beautiful scenery of my little town.. :)

Daddy and her adorable daughter :p

This is TARUTUNG!!!

After that we went home and I packed up all my stuff because tomorrow morning we would go to Medan. Such a short holiday but meaningful. I dont know why I didnt go home years ago. Babo :p

So.. on Sunday, January 6th, 2013 at 7.30, I safely landed in Bandung. Welcoming reality...
When I was at home at that day, there were some of the days that I regretted and wanted to go back to Bandung, like colder than Bandung, annoying local people *experienced with civil servant*, got surprised by a friend's wedding without even telling me! And didnt forget, mommy's grumbling and some family matters.

But I realised then.. That's home.

A place with so many imperfect situation.
But dont forget about the laughter, joking, homy dishes, 2 cats, warm blanket, nice neighbors, praying, singing, arguing. We have it, feel it and see it all together.

That's home and that's family...

Love you Daddy ^^

Love you Mommy ^^