My 'Special' Student

I have no clue at all that I will be touched by something today..

Today, my former student who has been in level B kindergarten now was celebrating her 5^th birthday. Honestly, I didn’t remember at all because I'm not her teacher in the class anymore and my work place is in playgroup, which is in the different building with her class.

She was my ‘special’ student in my first year working as a playgroup teacher. I said special because I guess she was involved with my choice to work here as I have no basic at all to teach kids around 3-4 years old and she didn’t even 3 at the time. She was so young between her peers and the most difficult student at my class.

I had to be more and more patient toward her. And I also admit it that sometimes I was so exhausted to face her with her ‘extraordinary’ habit and attitude. I kept asking myself, why do this kid is so hard to be handled? Why I have to be her teacher? Why me? Why and so many why...

I couldn’t find the answer directly until she had to continue her study to the next level in level A kindergarten. Though I had so many gloomy and upset times with her, I missed her a lot J

If we met in the kindergarten building, she would shout my name *Ms. Erniiiii :D* loudly yet I couldn’t believe she was 4^th years at the time. Then I remembered I talked to myself, if I could through those past year behind well especially with someone like her, why should I worry about my new student? It was just I had someone in my class at the time with another ‘extraordinary’ attitude and made me sad. I was reminded how hard I tried to understand the real ‘her’ and suddenly after she was not my student anymore, I got new challenging student again last year.

And so the story goes on, last year has ended and thank God I can through it well J

Now, I have 15 new students again with their uniqueness. Though I feel this year is much easier to get close with these children, I also have hard times to handle them sometimes. But, again and again I remember her...

Back to what was happening today; I was in my class until her mom came and gave me a souvenir. I asked her what is this all about and she said her daughter was celebrating her 5^th birthday. I was so surprised and my special student appeared.

She was walking toward me with her cute pink dress and a big smile on her face. I gave her a hug and congratulated her. I asked her, how old is she and she said “Five”, proudly. I looked at her and realized how time moves fast.

It was just like yesterday she was screaming in this building and refused to join the class activities.

It was just like yesterday she was asking me to carry her every time she cried.

It was just like yesterday I chose to let her did what she wanted and didn’t talk to her much because I almost gave up to coax her but she suddenly became really nice and knew she was wrong.

It was soooooo like yesterday :’)

What makes me feel more touched is how her mom treats me really nice. I mean, this is not because souvenir or gift or present. This is because every time we meet she always try to call me and sometimes just waving her hands to me or smiling.

This thing is really precious to me J

If I look back, I had so many hard times with her. But, I know I will never have this feeling if I didn’t face it. And the feeling is good, touched and happy :)

Masih Tertawa Tentang Hari Depan

...ia tertawa tentang hari depan -Amsal 31:25b

masih menjadi salah satu ayat Alkitab favoritku :)

Disaat segala sesuatu lancar dan apa yang aku harapkan terjadi, tentu menganggap hari depan itu sangat menyenangkan, bisa bikin senyum mengembang, cengengesan dan yang pasti ketawa seneng :D

Tapi.. gimana kalau sebaliknya..??
Semuanya terasa jauh dari bayangan dan yang lebih keselnya lagi berantakan. Rasanya benar-benar dah masa depan itu menakutkan :(

Kembali ke ayat tersebut, ayat yang berada di akhir Amsal itu secara lengkap sebenarnya bercerita tentang pujian untuk isteri yang cakap. ehem ;p. Haha..
Waktu pertama kali baca aku mikir, buset dah.. emang ada gitu perempuan kayak beginian? Perfect banget gitu loh, udah baek, disayang suami, siap nyediain makanan, nanam anggur, jago memintal, murah hati, lemah lembut, anak-anaknya juga bilang ia berbahagia.
Ada gitu?

Jawabnya.. ADA..
Aku percaya Alkitab itu kata-kata dari dari Allah Bapa, dan Ia gak pernah bohong. Ia menciptakan dan memberi rencana pada setiap wanita dengan rancangan yang berbeda-beda.
Ia adalah pemilik masa lalu, kini dan yang akan datang. Ia yang paling tau.
Mungkin saat ini segala sesuatu sering membuat hati kita was-was, ragu atau bimbang melihat masa depan. Tapi percaya deh, justru lewat perasaan-perasaan itu kita dapat bertanya apa yang Ia mau dan belajar percaya akan rencana-Nya.

Well.. jangan pikir aku sudah menjadi pribadi yang tahan banting akan kebimbangan dan kegalauan ;p
Kagak... Aku masih sering jatuh bangun.
Tapi seperti yang sahabatku bilang, "Nit.. hasil itu penting tapi proses untuk mencapai hasil itu jauh lebih penting"

Mari kita belajar dari masa lalu dan menjalani masa kini serta berharap untuk masa depan dengan tawa sebab selalu ada Tuhan disana :D

Yang Dipimpin

Hari ini saya diingatkan akan arti seseorang yang dipimpin...
Seringnya saya lebih mengerti seseorang yang memimpin.
Tapi lewat seseorang yang memiliki otoritas atas kedudukanku mengajari aku untuk *lagi-lagi* merendahkan hati.. :p
Setiap orang yang memimpinku memiliki otoritas dan itu ternyata tidak sembarangan dari mana. Itu asalnya dari Allah Bapa sendiri.. Ia sendiri yang memilih tiap-tiap orang 'diatasku' untuk mengajariku menjadi pribadi yang Ia rencanakan.
Well.. Bapa.. Kau tahu betapa sering hatiku memberontak...
Betapa sering aku menganggap orang-orang itu yang tidak becus
Betapa sering aku menganggap pemikiranku yang benar
Betapa sering aku tidak taat..

Ajari aku lebih lagi untuk menjadi seseorang yang dapat dipimpin sehingga aku dapat mengerti hati seorang pemimpin...

Forgiveness

I believe everyday I have to get something to learn whether it is good, bad, sweet, pain or unpredictable.
And today I have to tell to myself *again and again* that I should treat bad things as a lesson too. Huh???

I have a very very bad situation with one of my friend today which I thought she didn't act politely at all when she was asking me about anything.
I mean, she could speak nicely!!! Why she had to be so annoying???
The moment I saw her, I felt bitter and didn't even want to see her face.

And then my close friend told me I must be very sad to hear the way she talked. Well.. yeah absolutely!! Nobody wants to hear that words anyway.
Then she told me again why that annoying person acted like that...
She was tired because she didn't finished her duty yet and she might be let some of her stressful out to me, in other words she was not in the good mood now and I was became the victim :(

At first I told to myself, why me? Why she didn't think she was not the only one who had bad mood today...
Before she used that words I was sooooo bad mood too.. T_T

Well.. I need more time to realize what happened and turn the feeling to be something different and useful for me. I can choose to be someone who ignore her and I guess it is easier than the other option to give forgiveness of what she has done that she maybe didn't even know that she has made someone sad :(
Just forgive her nik... I said that to myself.

Forgiveness is not just let your enemy being free but it also happens to yourself :)