Penpals

Its almost one year when I was starting my old hobby. Writing letter ;p
Haha.. Yap..yap.. yap..
This is my fave hobby since I was in the middle school. I dont really remember why I was so interested to write letters for someone whom I never met, wasting time, wasting money to buy stamps and waiting for the reply. And if I was in bad luck, my letter could be lost somewhere and in the other words, it could be useless :(

At first, I really liked to fill quiz *especially crossword :)* on the magazine. My dad always supported me to try whether I will win or not, just try my luck :p. And after many trial, I WON. Yipppiee :D
I got jacket at the time. Although the jacket was supersize, but I was thankful *why did they gave XL jacket as a prize to the kid's quiz??? Strange -_-*.
Next day, I filled the crossword again and sent it, but I used my sister's name. I thought it was not fair if I win again. Lets give another chance to someone else *kindhearted?? lol*. At least that someone is my sister *big confidence ;p*

If I sent the quiz, I didnt really thought to win anyway. I just had some fun. So if I didnt find my name on the winner list, I was okay.

But I was really surprised when my sister's name was on the winner list. We were really happy :) My sister got a cute wall clock *we still have until now ^^*

And after the winning, suddenly there was a letter came to my home. It was for my sister. When we read it, it was from a girl who lived in Pangkal Pinang and she wanted to be my sister's penpal. Because she has the same age with me, I thought I want to write her my letter too.
Well.. She is become my first penpal at the time.. :)

Then I was looking for another penpals *searching on the winner list magazine*, hoping that they would reply. I was so happy, because so many of them replied and wanted to be my penpals. It was almost everyday I got letters. Even postmen in my city knew my name because they often came to my home ;p

As days go by, I grew up and so my penpals did. Some of them were suddenly missing and I lost contact but some of them were still writing to me until my first penpal moved to another city, I totally lost contact with her. It was so sad because she is my first penpal and I really like to talk with her. There was nothing I could do.. :(
And then when I was entering high school, I was busier than before, and didn't really thought about writing letter anymore. Though I was still wondering, what happened to my penpals' life. I hope they were okay..:)

Technology has shown so many progress especially internet. Fisrt social networking I've known is Friendster and I tried to look my lost friend at time. And tadaaaa... I found some of them. I was so surprised. Lol :)
They even still recognized me. Hehe...
But even technology made everything becomes easier and faster at the time,  we didnt talk as much as we used to be like writing on the letter. So strange, huh?

And after Facebook and Twitter are so popular nowadays, I also didn't talk much especially private things on it.

After I saw one of my friend. She was writing letters to her penpals in Italy. I asked her, what was like she wrote about. And she said everything. Her hobbies, fave stuff, our country, season, work even about her private life.
She reminded me...
I used to be like her.. :)
And she knew the feeling. How happy when I came home from school and saw an envelope *sometimes more than one!*. Couldn't wait to open it and read it. After I read it, I imagined what my penpal's told in her letter and usually I replied Ias soon as possible. And I asked my dad to post it in the post office. I will wait  and hoping next day I will get another letter.

I told to myself, why didn't I write again.. Hey, why not :)?

Later, I joined penpal club *thanks google :)*. Met some people outside Indonesia. Talk to them via email and connected by Facebook too. Some of them were interested to be my snail mail, but some of them thought that was toooooo snail *slow ;p*.
So here it does...
My first snail mail friend was from Korea :)
She sent me a new year greeting card last year. I was so excited. Haha.. I even looked for the letter and smiling like a fool. Wakakakakkk..

Anyway, I have penpals again now. They are abroad and has many things to share on their letter. I have penpals from Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Finland, Austria, Netherland, Sweden, Thailand and Uzbekistan now :)

Its so great to share stories with them...
Its so great to know we can talk through letters...
Its so great to know we are not alone :)

Fragile

Last Saturday I got text from my friend. She said one of our extracurricular teacher in my school has passed away.
About last month I also got text from my old friend, saying that my friend's mom was also passed away. She was my former teacher when I was in high school.
About a couple months ago, my friend's dad has gone too.
And another my friend's mom...

Life is so fragile...
One day you see someone
Next you might be lose them...

Take time with your loved ones
Cause you'll never know, when will you have to say goodbye...

Love Story

Mungkin karna bentar lagi aku mau kedatangan tamu bulanan yang berinisial “M”, hehe.. belakangan ini aku bawaannya mellowwww mulu ;p

Kemarin, waktu aku ngobrol sama teman-temanku, aku ngerasa terharu dan bersyukur banget bisa senam muka *baca:ketawa terbahak-bahak* bareng mereka. Trus dipeluk sama murid aku tiba-tiba dan hanya bilang “Miss Erni..”, aku lagi-lagi terharu. 

Dan sore ini aku yang lagi nonton serial drama di TV *Korea pastinye ;p*, aku lagi dan lagi tersentuh dan mengharu biru waktu dialog antar pemainnya.

Ceritanya teh si cewe pengen ‘ngelindungin’ si cowo dengan menjauhi si cowo dan bilang benci sama si cowo biar cowonya menjauh *yah..yah..tipikal drama korea lainnya sebenarnya*.

Dibilang gitu tertohok dong si cowo secara dia kan cinta banget sama si cewe. Tampangnya ampyunnnn kasian bangetttt. Aku dalam hati mikir, udeh tinggalin aja. Emang die doang cewe didunia ini. Gua masih ada lohhh ;p *mulai error haha :D*

Aku kira dia bakalan diam, gak bilang apa-apa lalu pergi ninggalin si cewe, eh ternyata dia balik bilang, kalo dia juga benci. Jauh lebih benci ngeliat si cewe terluka, sedih dan disakiti sama orang lain.

Si cowo juga bilang kalau si cewe itu sama sekali bukan tipenya dia tapi gak bisa ngelupain si cewe.

Ohhh... how sweet :D

Gimana gue kagak mupeng coba????

Haha..

Well.. sebenarnya aku gak tau bagian mananya yang benar-benar membuat aku terharu. Jujur ajah ini bukan kesekian kalinya aku nonton drama, mikir dan bertanya-tanya, “masa sihhh di dunia nyata masih ada cerita cinta kayak begini?”, “Ada gitu cowo yang beginian?”, “Akting tuh nik..akting...”,

Fyi, aku suka nonton drama Asia terutama Korea *terserah mau dibilang ababil atau apa ;p*. Kenapa? Karna menurut aku, kisah cinta yang aku pengen tuh penggambarannya kebanyakan di cerita-cerita mereka. Orang sering bilang, jangan kebanyakan nonton begituan karna yang begituan cuman jual mimpi. Kagak mungkin. Cuman fiksi dan hanya khayalan si penulis cerita yang didukung oleh akting yang sangat menjiwai dari aktor dan aktrisnya.

Tapi aku jadi mikir lagi, masa sih itu hanya sekedar khayalan? Masa sih si penulis cerita menulis tanpa memiliki mimpi kisah cinta sedemikian mengharukan seperti itu? Masa sih tujuan dari drama itu sebenarnya untuk mengingatkan kita kalau itu hanya berlaku didunia maya bukan di dunia nyata? Masa sih di dunia ini gak ada kisah cinta sebagus itu? Masa sih cowo seperti di drama itu benar-benar kagak ada di dunia ini?

Entahlah...

Yang aku tau aku dapat melihat kisah-kisah cinta di sekitarku. Kisah cinta orangtuaku, sahabat-sahabatku maupun orang-orang yang tidak mengenalku namun mereka nyata ada. Kisah mereka memang bukan kisah yang muncul di TV dan punya jam tertentu tiap hari. Kisah mereka juga bukan kisah yang punya review di blog-blog juga bisa dilihat di Youtube. Kisah mereka juga bukan terbatas di episode 1 – episode 31.

Tapi sama seperti kisah cinta yang aku tonton tadi, kisah mereka ada Seseorang yang menulis. Ada Seseorang yang merangkai kata demi kata.

Belum tau Seseorang itu nulis kisahku ntar seperti apa. Hehe... :D

What Faith Can Do

as I feel so down today *yeah..yeah.. I've been so down lately :'(*, I heard some of my new songs in my playlist and found this song.

Kutless - What Faith Can Do

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

This is the time when Im falling again and again

Just like the song tells, I hope I could find my strength to rise soon :)

Dear Dream

How could you do this to me???

I have failed first. And now.. you come, again and again. I've been trying so hard to think that you're so out of my league. You're impossible and too good to be true :(

But how come you are still on my mind, my heart and even in my daily email???
Yes I know, I should erase every time I see you.

But, why I can't I do that?
I might be try so hard to forget you, but my friend asked something about you. And then my sister and then suddenly you appeared on the street. Oh.. what should I do????

I'll Never Know

I'll never know how to walk, if I'm not fall

I'll never know how the sweet taste is, if I don't taste the bitter

I'll never see the rainbow, if I don't see the rain

I'll never know how important my health, if I don't sick 

I'll never know how to forgive, if I'm not hurt

I'll never know I have something, until I lose it

I'll never know what's life, if I'm not here right now

I will never know...

How Movies Touched My Life

I love watching movies :)
Usually when I want to watch movie, I'll try to know what's the story about and who is the lead actor/actress :)
Here are some movies that Im sure I will remember for the rest of my life, because I put my every emotion on it *based on the genre of course ;p*. I wont write what's the story about anyway, if you want to know them more, please search by yourself. Hehe...

 The Bucket List (2007)

I feel touched when Carter asked Edward : Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Too Beautiful To Lie (2004)

This is a Korea romantic comedy movie. Kang Dong Won totally made me laugh as he looks so serious sometimes :)

Denias (2006)

This is one the most outstanding Indonesia movie I've ever watched. Papua looked so beautiful :)

 The Departed (2006)

I've watched this movie for more than 5 times and I still love it !!!

Perempuan Punya Cerita (2008)

Another Indonesia movie that I like. I cried when I watched this movie :( And believe it or not this is so rare for me..

Daddy Long Legs (2004)

My friends always remind me that I shouldn't watch Korean movies too much because most of the man of the movies are impossible exist especially the man of this movie. He's too good tobe true :p. But hey.. why dont you guys just let me enjoy the movie because even that man might be not real but the story is so sweet :)

Wall-E (2008)

I love to hear the robot called 'Eva'. Cute ^^~

Inception (2010)

Okay.. I had to put my concentration just to watch this movie. 4 thumbs up for this movie *lean me your 2 thumbs up please :)*

 Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Here is my fave quote of this movie by Red : I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.

Actually I want to put one of my other fave movie, "Ju-On", a Japan horror movie. I was looking for the image before but I decided not to put it here. Too scary. Hehe.. I dont like the picture at all :D. Rather than feel being touched, the best word for that movie is SCARY. But I like to watch horror movies anyway *better than romantic movies especially hollywood*. That's why I kept watching that movie, even I was too scared to turn off the light if I want to sleep :p

Anyway, Im looking forward for the other movies.. :)

In Christ Alone

In Christ Alone 

Brian Littrell  

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

Chorus:
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope

Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

Chorus:
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope

November Rain

After a longggg dry season, here comes the rain...

Though I like a warm and dry season, Im thankful to see the raindrop and thunder outside of my window now..

Especially today is saturday :D

It means I can spend my day in my room alone. Definitely me and doing what I like :)

Happy weekend !!

First Crush

About a couple months ago, I saw on my FB's news feed was showing that my first crush is in relationship... :)
I was quite surprised but didn't put any attention on it. Because he was just my first crush. He was just my past. He was just part of my memories.
But about awhile ago, I was reading my friend's blog and she wrote about her first love. Suddenly, I remembered him ;p
I always happy to be single until now *yay..viva single lol;p*
But if I am asked about the man of my life beside my dad and my brothers, I also think about him. He definitely was my first indescribable feeling. Haha :D I know, I was teenage at the time and I know it means instability and of course puberty :)

He was there when I was talking with my friends
He was there when I was eating
He was there when I was watching TV
He was there when I was studying *no wonder I got bad grades :p*
He was everywhere...

It was so stupid. I didn't even know him. He also didn't know me at all. I just thought he was sooooo gorgeous >__<
But then, time after time, I realized we were not meant tobe *ehem*
So I let him go and I move on. I chase my dreams, studying, making new friends and finally got a REAL boyfriend :D
But then again, it didn't work out and I said goodbye. Being single, happy *sometimes full of envious to those who has bf ;p* until... now :)
Now Im 25th and some of my friends are married, but I don't care. Haha.. I always believe everyone has their own time. Please..please.. I just want tobe alone now. Working, working and working are my priority.

Anyway, after I read my friend's blog, I visited my FB and I dont know if this is just a coincidence when I saw his name was changed his profile picture. Actually, it was just an ordinary picture but my right hand was clicked the name and after a long time I saw his profile and reminded me again he was in a relationship now.
Am I sad?
No.. :)
Am I jealous?
Haha..big NO!
Like I said before, he was just the past and he was just part of memories. AND for me, memories should be memories. Just stay there...
While I saw his picture, I try to figure out, how's his life now?
Does he still remember about a girl a long time ago who always looked for him secretly?
Does he still remember about a girl who always smiling when she was on his back but didn't have any strength to look him in the eye?

I dont think he is still remember.. :)
But that's okay. Its better for us I guess. He lives his life and he moves his life well.
While me?
Im still here.. Chasing my dreams and working passionately. I will live my life to the fullest!!!!

Forgiveness Again

I  said before life is like at school where I can learn, practice and being tested. I got so many tests but I guess I need to take more and more lessons about forgiveness.
This is how I feel like in India.Arie's The Heart of the Matter:

Im not talking about having  a romantic relationship with a guy and then break up like in this song, but I feel it with the people around me :(
Sometimes they even made me cry quitely.
I know maybe they dont know how they make my day so bad. All I can do is running to my God and told Him that I feel hurt. That's all and I know the answer is always to forgive...

Here is my fave lyrics of this song *I even wrote it on my orgy :)*

All the people in your life who've came and gone
They let you down
You know they hurt your pride
Gotta put it all behind you
'cause life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger
It'll eat you up inside

I can make myself to be a hater and it'd be destroyed me slowly. Or I can choose to forgive what they have done...

Because...

I wanna be happily ever after
and my heart is so shattered
But I know its about forgiveness,
forgiveness...

dedicated to me :)
stay strong nik.. ^^

I Love You

I love you,
You love me,
We're a happy family,
with a great big hug,
and a kiss from me to you,
Won't you say you love me too!


I love you,
You love me,
We're best friends like friends should be,
With a great big hug,
And a kiss from me to you,
Won't you say you love me too *I Love You - Barney*

Family is always a place I called home and I know my friends will always be my precious gift.
They are not perfect at all.
Sometimes they even hurt me
They seem so faraway also

But then, they are always welcome me back

daddy mommy

the five of us

ras jun er

wik er

niel er

partners at work

someone whom I can trust :)

Thank you all... :D

Something About Me

Sometimes I thought it must be easier if I were not me
So often I thought I must be happier if I were not here
All I can see is the gray sky, no hopes and no glory
Thinking that why life is so hard time after time

I decide to run and try to forget so many things...

I often heard people talked about their life as a river
and they said just let it flow
Some words told me, do your best and let God do the rest

But I know, everytime I run
everytime I hide
Its getting worst

I have to face it...

but I cant keep on running
no I just cant keep on running away from here
I know that the only way to beat it is by fighting my every fear
I'm not going to make it 'til i turn around and face it alone, I know
I can't just keep running, no I just can't keep on running away
so it stops today... *It Stops Today - Colbie Caillat

So many times I learn that every person has their own cross in their life. Not just me, not just you or not just someone that I thought should be me. In other words, if I were someone else I still have this feeling because Im not grateful at all just being me :(

It will never be easy to be someone if Im not thankful to be me 
I will never be happy in everywhere if Im not thankful in my place where Im standing right now
I can not just follow the river without knowing where is the end and the purpose cause sometimes I have to against the flow
And by the way, I can not do anything...
What's best I thought its just nothing other than the grace of the Lord. He really does...

This is me...
Sometimes Im become a positively person and thinking that Im truly blessed
Everything looks so bright and beautiful
But the other times Im so frustrated and didn't find anything good
Even sun shines so bright but I still can not feel it on my face
I just thought the darkness...

And after awhile, I find myself again. Better than before. And the next day I feel blue again.
That's always happening.
I hate myself for this sometimes. Why I dont have the same feeling? No need to change the way I think about myself again and again.
But I realize that's life...
Life is like a school where I can learn and get good or bad grades everytime...