My Christmas Night

As the day when I celebrated Christmas every year with my family, this year is different.
Like I said before Im going to spend my holiday in Yokyakarta, so.. here I am.. Finally I came into this city last Friday early in the morning.
I really enjoy time :)

And about in this evening I went to the one of the church in this city to attend Christmas Night Celebration. It was my first time to celebrate Christmas night with no family at all. I usually go with my parents or at least my sister after I moved to Bandung.
One side I felt so blessed to be able to join the celebration but the other side I was so sad because I can not be with my family. sniff..sniff :(

But well.. Im sure wherever I am, I can celebrate Christmas...
I hope I could spend my another time with my family next time :)

Anyway, from the bottom of my heart...

Someday Soon

Someday Soon

Francesca Battistelli

I wanna be the one who knows everything about you
I wanna be the one who’s always on your mind
I wanna be the one to get all of your affection and attention
You’re the one that I’ve been waiting for, for all this time

And I can’t imagine anything, anything better than

(Chorus)
Someday falling in love with you
Holding your hand
Making our plans all come true
Someday under a sky so blue
I’ll give you my heart
Our story will start
Someday soon

I wanna be the one who does everything with you
Watching stars, washing cars, taking walks, going to the store
I wanna be the one who gets to change her last name someday
To something that sounds something more like yours

(Chorus)

Yeah I’ll be telling you I love you
On a picture perfect day
And those words inside my head
They sound like angels singing praise
It’s what I was made to say 

(Chorus)

I know its sound so ridiculous...

But I believe *recently* you are there.. somewhere..

Let's prepare ourselves in God's plan

until we meet someday... :)

Benda Ajaib Bernama Koyo

Hehe.. benda ajaib yang aku maksud ini bukan benda jadi-jadian atau benda yang aku temukan setelah aku bertapa 7 hari 7 malam sambil mandi kembang 7 rupa dibawah bulan purnama ;p
Kagak..

Ini benar-benar koyo biasa yang aku beli di warung si mamang dekat rumah seharga 6000 perak dengan isi 12 lembar. Haha :D

Ceritanya beberapa hari yang lalu aku bangun dengan leher suakitttnya minta ampun. Pegel gitu :(
Sempat mikir gak ke sekolah aja, istirahat ;p
Tapi mengingat kepala sekolah aku pernah bilang, selama masih bisa buka mata dan bangun diusahakan sekolah :)
Jadinya aku mutusin tetep sekolah, sambil sesekali ngolesin minyak kayu putih ke leher trus dipijat perlahan.

Pulangnya aku mutusin beli si benda ajaib :)

Tempelin dileher belakang trus berbaring sambil denger lagu favorit *roly poly roly roly poly :)*. Akhirnya ketiduran. Sesuai banget sama iklanya dah, rasanya ada tangan invisible yang mijitin leher aku, trus gue keenakan lalu bobo.Hehe..

mungkin kira-kira beginilah saat aku pake si benda ajaib itu ;p

Besok paginya aku bangun. Megangin leher dan ngerasa sakitnya benar-benar berkurang. Enakeun pokona :)
Lalu aku make lagi semalam and you know what, pegel-pegel aku udah lenyap. Uwohhhh.... rasanya bahagia banget *jiah*.

Aku memandangi si benda ajaib itu... Ckk..ckk.. hebat yah yang nemuin benda beginian. Kok bisa gitu mikir bereksperimen trus nemuin benda yang sangat sangat berguna buat orang yang jarang olahraga kayak gue *iya loh..katanya kalo suka pegel-pegel itu tanda kurang olahraga ;p memalukannn*.
Anyway, buat kamu yang suka pegel, saya sarankan pakailah koyo, si benda ajaib *kata Erni ;p*

December

So.. here comes December. Finally..
I feel happy but the other side Im sad.

Im happy cause I will celebrate Christmas. And next Sunday would be the first week to celebrate Pre-Christmas in my chruch.
Christmas is always something special to me :)

And...

Im sad cause I know I still dont do something that I should do yet. I've been prepared this for almost 2 years and I always have some reasons to make myself backward.
And the worst thing is, I keep try but in the middle I have lost and gave up... :'(

As I see the calender and clock is ticking, I know I almost run of time...

Im wondering for something...
Hoping for something...

Penpals

Its almost one year when I was starting my old hobby. Writing letter ;p
Haha.. Yap..yap.. yap..
This is my fave hobby since I was in the middle school. I dont really remember why I was so interested to write letters for someone whom I never met, wasting time, wasting money to buy stamps and waiting for the reply. And if I was in bad luck, my letter could be lost somewhere and in the other words, it could be useless :(

At first, I really liked to fill quiz *especially crossword :)* on the magazine. My dad always supported me to try whether I will win or not, just try my luck :p. And after many trial, I WON. Yipppiee :D
I got jacket at the time. Although the jacket was supersize, but I was thankful *why did they gave XL jacket as a prize to the kid's quiz??? Strange -_-*.
Next day, I filled the crossword again and sent it, but I used my sister's name. I thought it was not fair if I win again. Lets give another chance to someone else *kindhearted?? lol*. At least that someone is my sister *big confidence ;p*

If I sent the quiz, I didnt really thought to win anyway. I just had some fun. So if I didnt find my name on the winner list, I was okay.

But I was really surprised when my sister's name was on the winner list. We were really happy :) My sister got a cute wall clock *we still have until now ^^*

And after the winning, suddenly there was a letter came to my home. It was for my sister. When we read it, it was from a girl who lived in Pangkal Pinang and she wanted to be my sister's penpal. Because she has the same age with me, I thought I want to write her my letter too.
Well.. She is become my first penpal at the time.. :)

Then I was looking for another penpals *searching on the winner list magazine*, hoping that they would reply. I was so happy, because so many of them replied and wanted to be my penpals. It was almost everyday I got letters. Even postmen in my city knew my name because they often came to my home ;p

As days go by, I grew up and so my penpals did. Some of them were suddenly missing and I lost contact but some of them were still writing to me until my first penpal moved to another city, I totally lost contact with her. It was so sad because she is my first penpal and I really like to talk with her. There was nothing I could do.. :(
And then when I was entering high school, I was busier than before, and didn't really thought about writing letter anymore. Though I was still wondering, what happened to my penpals' life. I hope they were okay..:)

Technology has shown so many progress especially internet. Fisrt social networking I've known is Friendster and I tried to look my lost friend at time. And tadaaaa... I found some of them. I was so surprised. Lol :)
They even still recognized me. Hehe...
But even technology made everything becomes easier and faster at the time,  we didnt talk as much as we used to be like writing on the letter. So strange, huh?

And after Facebook and Twitter are so popular nowadays, I also didn't talk much especially private things on it.

After I saw one of my friend. She was writing letters to her penpals in Italy. I asked her, what was like she wrote about. And she said everything. Her hobbies, fave stuff, our country, season, work even about her private life.
She reminded me...
I used to be like her.. :)
And she knew the feeling. How happy when I came home from school and saw an envelope *sometimes more than one!*. Couldn't wait to open it and read it. After I read it, I imagined what my penpal's told in her letter and usually I replied Ias soon as possible. And I asked my dad to post it in the post office. I will wait  and hoping next day I will get another letter.

I told to myself, why didn't I write again.. Hey, why not :)?

Later, I joined penpal club *thanks google :)*. Met some people outside Indonesia. Talk to them via email and connected by Facebook too. Some of them were interested to be my snail mail, but some of them thought that was toooooo snail *slow ;p*.
So here it does...
My first snail mail friend was from Korea :)
She sent me a new year greeting card last year. I was so excited. Haha.. I even looked for the letter and smiling like a fool. Wakakakakkk..

Anyway, I have penpals again now. They are abroad and has many things to share on their letter. I have penpals from Korea, Japan, Taiwan, Finland, Austria, Netherland, Sweden, Thailand and Uzbekistan now :)

Its so great to share stories with them...
Its so great to know we can talk through letters...
Its so great to know we are not alone :)

Fragile

Last Saturday I got text from my friend. She said one of our extracurricular teacher in my school has passed away.
About last month I also got text from my old friend, saying that my friend's mom was also passed away. She was my former teacher when I was in high school.
About a couple months ago, my friend's dad has gone too.
And another my friend's mom...

Life is so fragile...
One day you see someone
Next you might be lose them...

Take time with your loved ones
Cause you'll never know, when will you have to say goodbye...

Love Story

Mungkin karna bentar lagi aku mau kedatangan tamu bulanan yang berinisial “M”, hehe.. belakangan ini aku bawaannya mellowwww mulu ;p

Kemarin, waktu aku ngobrol sama teman-temanku, aku ngerasa terharu dan bersyukur banget bisa senam muka *baca:ketawa terbahak-bahak* bareng mereka. Trus dipeluk sama murid aku tiba-tiba dan hanya bilang “Miss Erni..”, aku lagi-lagi terharu. 

Dan sore ini aku yang lagi nonton serial drama di TV *Korea pastinye ;p*, aku lagi dan lagi tersentuh dan mengharu biru waktu dialog antar pemainnya.

Ceritanya teh si cewe pengen ‘ngelindungin’ si cowo dengan menjauhi si cowo dan bilang benci sama si cowo biar cowonya menjauh *yah..yah..tipikal drama korea lainnya sebenarnya*.

Dibilang gitu tertohok dong si cowo secara dia kan cinta banget sama si cewe. Tampangnya ampyunnnn kasian bangetttt. Aku dalam hati mikir, udeh tinggalin aja. Emang die doang cewe didunia ini. Gua masih ada lohhh ;p *mulai error haha :D*

Aku kira dia bakalan diam, gak bilang apa-apa lalu pergi ninggalin si cewe, eh ternyata dia balik bilang, kalo dia juga benci. Jauh lebih benci ngeliat si cewe terluka, sedih dan disakiti sama orang lain.

Si cowo juga bilang kalau si cewe itu sama sekali bukan tipenya dia tapi gak bisa ngelupain si cewe.

Ohhh... how sweet :D

Gimana gue kagak mupeng coba????

Haha..

Well.. sebenarnya aku gak tau bagian mananya yang benar-benar membuat aku terharu. Jujur ajah ini bukan kesekian kalinya aku nonton drama, mikir dan bertanya-tanya, “masa sihhh di dunia nyata masih ada cerita cinta kayak begini?”, “Ada gitu cowo yang beginian?”, “Akting tuh nik..akting...”,

Fyi, aku suka nonton drama Asia terutama Korea *terserah mau dibilang ababil atau apa ;p*. Kenapa? Karna menurut aku, kisah cinta yang aku pengen tuh penggambarannya kebanyakan di cerita-cerita mereka. Orang sering bilang, jangan kebanyakan nonton begituan karna yang begituan cuman jual mimpi. Kagak mungkin. Cuman fiksi dan hanya khayalan si penulis cerita yang didukung oleh akting yang sangat menjiwai dari aktor dan aktrisnya.

Tapi aku jadi mikir lagi, masa sih itu hanya sekedar khayalan? Masa sih si penulis cerita menulis tanpa memiliki mimpi kisah cinta sedemikian mengharukan seperti itu? Masa sih tujuan dari drama itu sebenarnya untuk mengingatkan kita kalau itu hanya berlaku didunia maya bukan di dunia nyata? Masa sih di dunia ini gak ada kisah cinta sebagus itu? Masa sih cowo seperti di drama itu benar-benar kagak ada di dunia ini?

Entahlah...

Yang aku tau aku dapat melihat kisah-kisah cinta di sekitarku. Kisah cinta orangtuaku, sahabat-sahabatku maupun orang-orang yang tidak mengenalku namun mereka nyata ada. Kisah mereka memang bukan kisah yang muncul di TV dan punya jam tertentu tiap hari. Kisah mereka juga bukan kisah yang punya review di blog-blog juga bisa dilihat di Youtube. Kisah mereka juga bukan terbatas di episode 1 – episode 31.

Tapi sama seperti kisah cinta yang aku tonton tadi, kisah mereka ada Seseorang yang menulis. Ada Seseorang yang merangkai kata demi kata.

Belum tau Seseorang itu nulis kisahku ntar seperti apa. Hehe... :D

What Faith Can Do

as I feel so down today *yeah..yeah.. I've been so down lately :'(*, I heard some of my new songs in my playlist and found this song.

Kutless - What Faith Can Do

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

This is the time when Im falling again and again

Just like the song tells, I hope I could find my strength to rise soon :)

Dear Dream

How could you do this to me???

I have failed first. And now.. you come, again and again. I've been trying so hard to think that you're so out of my league. You're impossible and too good to be true :(

But how come you are still on my mind, my heart and even in my daily email???
Yes I know, I should erase every time I see you.

But, why I can't I do that?
I might be try so hard to forget you, but my friend asked something about you. And then my sister and then suddenly you appeared on the street. Oh.. what should I do????

I'll Never Know

I'll never know how to walk, if I'm not fall

I'll never know how the sweet taste is, if I don't taste the bitter

I'll never see the rainbow, if I don't see the rain

I'll never know how important my health, if I don't sick 

I'll never know how to forgive, if I'm not hurt

I'll never know I have something, until I lose it

I'll never know what's life, if I'm not here right now

I will never know...

How Movies Touched My Life

I love watching movies :)
Usually when I want to watch movie, I'll try to know what's the story about and who is the lead actor/actress :)
Here are some movies that Im sure I will remember for the rest of my life, because I put my every emotion on it *based on the genre of course ;p*. I wont write what's the story about anyway, if you want to know them more, please search by yourself. Hehe...

 The Bucket List (2007)

I feel touched when Carter asked Edward : Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Too Beautiful To Lie (2004)

This is a Korea romantic comedy movie. Kang Dong Won totally made me laugh as he looks so serious sometimes :)

Denias (2006)

This is one the most outstanding Indonesia movie I've ever watched. Papua looked so beautiful :)

 The Departed (2006)

I've watched this movie for more than 5 times and I still love it !!!

Perempuan Punya Cerita (2008)

Another Indonesia movie that I like. I cried when I watched this movie :( And believe it or not this is so rare for me..

Daddy Long Legs (2004)

My friends always remind me that I shouldn't watch Korean movies too much because most of the man of the movies are impossible exist especially the man of this movie. He's too good tobe true :p. But hey.. why dont you guys just let me enjoy the movie because even that man might be not real but the story is so sweet :)

Wall-E (2008)

I love to hear the robot called 'Eva'. Cute ^^~

Inception (2010)

Okay.. I had to put my concentration just to watch this movie. 4 thumbs up for this movie *lean me your 2 thumbs up please :)*

 Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Here is my fave quote of this movie by Red : I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.

Actually I want to put one of my other fave movie, "Ju-On", a Japan horror movie. I was looking for the image before but I decided not to put it here. Too scary. Hehe.. I dont like the picture at all :D. Rather than feel being touched, the best word for that movie is SCARY. But I like to watch horror movies anyway *better than romantic movies especially hollywood*. That's why I kept watching that movie, even I was too scared to turn off the light if I want to sleep :p

Anyway, Im looking forward for the other movies.. :)

In Christ Alone

In Christ Alone 

Brian Littrell  

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

Chorus:
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope

Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

Chorus:
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope

November Rain

After a longggg dry season, here comes the rain...

Though I like a warm and dry season, Im thankful to see the raindrop and thunder outside of my window now..

Especially today is saturday :D

It means I can spend my day in my room alone. Definitely me and doing what I like :)

Happy weekend !!

First Crush

About a couple months ago, I saw on my FB's news feed was showing that my first crush is in relationship... :)
I was quite surprised but didn't put any attention on it. Because he was just my first crush. He was just my past. He was just part of my memories.
But about awhile ago, I was reading my friend's blog and she wrote about her first love. Suddenly, I remembered him ;p
I always happy to be single until now *yay..viva single lol;p*
But if I am asked about the man of my life beside my dad and my brothers, I also think about him. He definitely was my first indescribable feeling. Haha :D I know, I was teenage at the time and I know it means instability and of course puberty :)

He was there when I was talking with my friends
He was there when I was eating
He was there when I was watching TV
He was there when I was studying *no wonder I got bad grades :p*
He was everywhere...

It was so stupid. I didn't even know him. He also didn't know me at all. I just thought he was sooooo gorgeous >__<
But then, time after time, I realized we were not meant tobe *ehem*
So I let him go and I move on. I chase my dreams, studying, making new friends and finally got a REAL boyfriend :D
But then again, it didn't work out and I said goodbye. Being single, happy *sometimes full of envious to those who has bf ;p* until... now :)
Now Im 25th and some of my friends are married, but I don't care. Haha.. I always believe everyone has their own time. Please..please.. I just want tobe alone now. Working, working and working are my priority.

Anyway, after I read my friend's blog, I visited my FB and I dont know if this is just a coincidence when I saw his name was changed his profile picture. Actually, it was just an ordinary picture but my right hand was clicked the name and after a long time I saw his profile and reminded me again he was in a relationship now.
Am I sad?
No.. :)
Am I jealous?
Haha..big NO!
Like I said before, he was just the past and he was just part of memories. AND for me, memories should be memories. Just stay there...
While I saw his picture, I try to figure out, how's his life now?
Does he still remember about a girl a long time ago who always looked for him secretly?
Does he still remember about a girl who always smiling when she was on his back but didn't have any strength to look him in the eye?

I dont think he is still remember.. :)
But that's okay. Its better for us I guess. He lives his life and he moves his life well.
While me?
Im still here.. Chasing my dreams and working passionately. I will live my life to the fullest!!!!

Forgiveness Again

I  said before life is like at school where I can learn, practice and being tested. I got so many tests but I guess I need to take more and more lessons about forgiveness.
This is how I feel like in India.Arie's The Heart of the Matter:

Im not talking about having  a romantic relationship with a guy and then break up like in this song, but I feel it with the people around me :(
Sometimes they even made me cry quitely.
I know maybe they dont know how they make my day so bad. All I can do is running to my God and told Him that I feel hurt. That's all and I know the answer is always to forgive...

Here is my fave lyrics of this song *I even wrote it on my orgy :)*

All the people in your life who've came and gone
They let you down
You know they hurt your pride
Gotta put it all behind you
'cause life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger
It'll eat you up inside

I can make myself to be a hater and it'd be destroyed me slowly. Or I can choose to forgive what they have done...

Because...

I wanna be happily ever after
and my heart is so shattered
But I know its about forgiveness,
forgiveness...

dedicated to me :)
stay strong nik.. ^^

I Love You

I love you,
You love me,
We're a happy family,
with a great big hug,
and a kiss from me to you,
Won't you say you love me too!


I love you,
You love me,
We're best friends like friends should be,
With a great big hug,
And a kiss from me to you,
Won't you say you love me too *I Love You - Barney*

Family is always a place I called home and I know my friends will always be my precious gift.
They are not perfect at all.
Sometimes they even hurt me
They seem so faraway also

But then, they are always welcome me back

daddy mommy

the five of us

ras jun er

wik er

niel er

partners at work

someone whom I can trust :)

Thank you all... :D

Something About Me

Sometimes I thought it must be easier if I were not me
So often I thought I must be happier if I were not here
All I can see is the gray sky, no hopes and no glory
Thinking that why life is so hard time after time

I decide to run and try to forget so many things...

I often heard people talked about their life as a river
and they said just let it flow
Some words told me, do your best and let God do the rest

But I know, everytime I run
everytime I hide
Its getting worst

I have to face it...

but I cant keep on running
no I just cant keep on running away from here
I know that the only way to beat it is by fighting my every fear
I'm not going to make it 'til i turn around and face it alone, I know
I can't just keep running, no I just can't keep on running away
so it stops today... *It Stops Today - Colbie Caillat

So many times I learn that every person has their own cross in their life. Not just me, not just you or not just someone that I thought should be me. In other words, if I were someone else I still have this feeling because Im not grateful at all just being me :(

It will never be easy to be someone if Im not thankful to be me 
I will never be happy in everywhere if Im not thankful in my place where Im standing right now
I can not just follow the river without knowing where is the end and the purpose cause sometimes I have to against the flow
And by the way, I can not do anything...
What's best I thought its just nothing other than the grace of the Lord. He really does...

This is me...
Sometimes Im become a positively person and thinking that Im truly blessed
Everything looks so bright and beautiful
But the other times Im so frustrated and didn't find anything good
Even sun shines so bright but I still can not feel it on my face
I just thought the darkness...

And after awhile, I find myself again. Better than before. And the next day I feel blue again.
That's always happening.
I hate myself for this sometimes. Why I dont have the same feeling? No need to change the way I think about myself again and again.
But I realize that's life...
Life is like a school where I can learn and get good or bad grades everytime...

My 'Special' Student

I have no clue at all that I will be touched by something today..

Today, my former student who has been in level B kindergarten now was celebrating her 5^th birthday. Honestly, I didn’t remember at all because I'm not her teacher in the class anymore and my work place is in playgroup, which is in the different building with her class.

She was my ‘special’ student in my first year working as a playgroup teacher. I said special because I guess she was involved with my choice to work here as I have no basic at all to teach kids around 3-4 years old and she didn’t even 3 at the time. She was so young between her peers and the most difficult student at my class.

I had to be more and more patient toward her. And I also admit it that sometimes I was so exhausted to face her with her ‘extraordinary’ habit and attitude. I kept asking myself, why do this kid is so hard to be handled? Why I have to be her teacher? Why me? Why and so many why...

I couldn’t find the answer directly until she had to continue her study to the next level in level A kindergarten. Though I had so many gloomy and upset times with her, I missed her a lot J

If we met in the kindergarten building, she would shout my name *Ms. Erniiiii :D* loudly yet I couldn’t believe she was 4^th years at the time. Then I remembered I talked to myself, if I could through those past year behind well especially with someone like her, why should I worry about my new student? It was just I had someone in my class at the time with another ‘extraordinary’ attitude and made me sad. I was reminded how hard I tried to understand the real ‘her’ and suddenly after she was not my student anymore, I got new challenging student again last year.

And so the story goes on, last year has ended and thank God I can through it well J

Now, I have 15 new students again with their uniqueness. Though I feel this year is much easier to get close with these children, I also have hard times to handle them sometimes. But, again and again I remember her...

Back to what was happening today; I was in my class until her mom came and gave me a souvenir. I asked her what is this all about and she said her daughter was celebrating her 5^th birthday. I was so surprised and my special student appeared.

She was walking toward me with her cute pink dress and a big smile on her face. I gave her a hug and congratulated her. I asked her, how old is she and she said “Five”, proudly. I looked at her and realized how time moves fast.

It was just like yesterday she was screaming in this building and refused to join the class activities.

It was just like yesterday she was asking me to carry her every time she cried.

It was just like yesterday I chose to let her did what she wanted and didn’t talk to her much because I almost gave up to coax her but she suddenly became really nice and knew she was wrong.

It was soooooo like yesterday :’)

What makes me feel more touched is how her mom treats me really nice. I mean, this is not because souvenir or gift or present. This is because every time we meet she always try to call me and sometimes just waving her hands to me or smiling.

This thing is really precious to me J

If I look back, I had so many hard times with her. But, I know I will never have this feeling if I didn’t face it. And the feeling is good, touched and happy :)

Masih Tertawa Tentang Hari Depan

...ia tertawa tentang hari depan -Amsal 31:25b

masih menjadi salah satu ayat Alkitab favoritku :)

Disaat segala sesuatu lancar dan apa yang aku harapkan terjadi, tentu menganggap hari depan itu sangat menyenangkan, bisa bikin senyum mengembang, cengengesan dan yang pasti ketawa seneng :D

Tapi.. gimana kalau sebaliknya..??
Semuanya terasa jauh dari bayangan dan yang lebih keselnya lagi berantakan. Rasanya benar-benar dah masa depan itu menakutkan :(

Kembali ke ayat tersebut, ayat yang berada di akhir Amsal itu secara lengkap sebenarnya bercerita tentang pujian untuk isteri yang cakap. ehem ;p. Haha..
Waktu pertama kali baca aku mikir, buset dah.. emang ada gitu perempuan kayak beginian? Perfect banget gitu loh, udah baek, disayang suami, siap nyediain makanan, nanam anggur, jago memintal, murah hati, lemah lembut, anak-anaknya juga bilang ia berbahagia.
Ada gitu?

Jawabnya.. ADA..
Aku percaya Alkitab itu kata-kata dari dari Allah Bapa, dan Ia gak pernah bohong. Ia menciptakan dan memberi rencana pada setiap wanita dengan rancangan yang berbeda-beda.
Ia adalah pemilik masa lalu, kini dan yang akan datang. Ia yang paling tau.
Mungkin saat ini segala sesuatu sering membuat hati kita was-was, ragu atau bimbang melihat masa depan. Tapi percaya deh, justru lewat perasaan-perasaan itu kita dapat bertanya apa yang Ia mau dan belajar percaya akan rencana-Nya.

Well.. jangan pikir aku sudah menjadi pribadi yang tahan banting akan kebimbangan dan kegalauan ;p
Kagak... Aku masih sering jatuh bangun.
Tapi seperti yang sahabatku bilang, "Nit.. hasil itu penting tapi proses untuk mencapai hasil itu jauh lebih penting"

Mari kita belajar dari masa lalu dan menjalani masa kini serta berharap untuk masa depan dengan tawa sebab selalu ada Tuhan disana :D

Yang Dipimpin

Hari ini saya diingatkan akan arti seseorang yang dipimpin...
Seringnya saya lebih mengerti seseorang yang memimpin.
Tapi lewat seseorang yang memiliki otoritas atas kedudukanku mengajari aku untuk *lagi-lagi* merendahkan hati.. :p
Setiap orang yang memimpinku memiliki otoritas dan itu ternyata tidak sembarangan dari mana. Itu asalnya dari Allah Bapa sendiri.. Ia sendiri yang memilih tiap-tiap orang 'diatasku' untuk mengajariku menjadi pribadi yang Ia rencanakan.
Well.. Bapa.. Kau tahu betapa sering hatiku memberontak...
Betapa sering aku menganggap orang-orang itu yang tidak becus
Betapa sering aku menganggap pemikiranku yang benar
Betapa sering aku tidak taat..

Ajari aku lebih lagi untuk menjadi seseorang yang dapat dipimpin sehingga aku dapat mengerti hati seorang pemimpin...

Forgiveness

I believe everyday I have to get something to learn whether it is good, bad, sweet, pain or unpredictable.
And today I have to tell to myself *again and again* that I should treat bad things as a lesson too. Huh???

I have a very very bad situation with one of my friend today which I thought she didn't act politely at all when she was asking me about anything.
I mean, she could speak nicely!!! Why she had to be so annoying???
The moment I saw her, I felt bitter and didn't even want to see her face.

And then my close friend told me I must be very sad to hear the way she talked. Well.. yeah absolutely!! Nobody wants to hear that words anyway.
Then she told me again why that annoying person acted like that...
She was tired because she didn't finished her duty yet and she might be let some of her stressful out to me, in other words she was not in the good mood now and I was became the victim :(

At first I told to myself, why me? Why she didn't think she was not the only one who had bad mood today...
Before she used that words I was sooooo bad mood too.. T_T

Well.. I need more time to realize what happened and turn the feeling to be something different and useful for me. I can choose to be someone who ignore her and I guess it is easier than the other option to give forgiveness of what she has done that she maybe didn't even know that she has made someone sad :(
Just forgive her nik... I said that to myself.

Forgiveness is not just let your enemy being free but it also happens to yourself :)

Alone

what I miss my old days..
my childhood
and back to the past...

leaving all this behind and let the memories begin...

how could I through all this when everyone surround me seems so far =(

Untitled

Saat memulai kembali sesuatu yang baru, adaaa aja yang bikin takut dan gak mau menjalaninya. Maunya lari dan menghindar.
Hiks..

Rasanya gak pengen balik ke lingkaran itu...

Kim Yeo Hee

Teknologi emang luar biasa :)
Bisa membuat segala sesuatunya jadi instan termasuk kepopuleran.

Beberapa minggu lalu aku luar biasa eneg liat pemberitaan di Indo soal video lipsync Pak Polisi. Dohh.. plis deh :p
Untung masih ada stasiun TV yang normal alias kagak lebay nanggepin orang mendadak populer itu..:)

Sebenarnya gak cuman si bapak yang jadi populer gara-gara Youtube. Baru-baru ini aku baru tau *basi ;p* di Korea sonoh ada juga yang memanfaatkan Youtube sebagai media menyalurkan hobi nyanyi trus ngerekam trus ditonton ama ribuan orang and then.. jrenggg.. jadi seleb deh.

Namanya Kim Yeo Hee (김여희)
Cewe kelahiran 4 Oktober 1988 ini meng-upload videonya yang lagi nyanyiin lagu Irreplaceable-nya Beyonce dengan memakai 3 iPhone sekaligus dan dengan aplikasi yang berbeda.
Waktu pertama kali liat sempat sinis mikir, ihh.. apaan pasti kayak si mas suka india itu. Ternyata enggak. Bagus pisan :)
Nyanyinya oke. Pelafalan inggrisnya juga bagus. Kreatif lagi pake iPhone segala. Sampai-sampai dia dikasih julukan Applegirl.
Ini dia nih video yang dia upload :



Selain itu dia juga nyanyiin Poker Face-nya Lady Gaga



Lalu setelah itu dia dikontrak gitu sama agensi Dream High Entertainment dan udah ngeluncurin single sendiri. Single pertamanya "My Music (나의 노래) di bulan Mei 2010 lalu. Suka banget nih gua dengerin lagu ini:



Gak sabar denger lagu-lagu dia yang lain :)


Bandung, 11 Mei 2011

Bosan

Setelah menjalani kegiatan yang aku lakuin kurang lebih dua tahun, aku sudah mulai berada di titik bosan :(

Gak tau kenapa, yang ada aku udah mulai bangun pagi ogah-ogahan, lemes di kelas, suka bengong.
Pengen pegi dari kota ini.
Pengen ngelakuin aktivitas laen :(

Hiks..hiks..
Ada waktu aku browsing ajah trus dapet lagu penghibur :)



Aku gak tau kebosanan ini mo berujung kemana????


Bandung, 11 Mei 2011

Mimpi

Mengingat taun ini aku bakalan umur 25 *what???*, ada banyak hal membuat aku stress ;(. Ini soal mimpi. Cita-cita yang dari dulu aku inginkan, yang gak tau kedengaran belagu atau gak mungkin banget.
Sedari aku SMA aku udah punya keinginan S1 lalu S2 lalu S3..
Ini mah kedengarannya gampang dulu. Penting aku niat. Titik!!!

Nyampe S1 mulailah ragu-ragu. Am I able to do that?
Well.. otak aku yang pas-pasan dan kondisi ekonomi kelihatannya tidak mendukung sama sekali :(

Lulus S1 dapet kerja dan lagi-lagi ingat mimpi itu. Mulailah makin nanjak lebih tinggi, yakni sekolah ke luar negri istilah kerennya LN. widihhh..
Ini terutama kesukaanku membaca kisah-kisah orang-orang yang sukses sekolah ke LN dengan gratis alias beasiswa. Dan Korea adalah tempat yang paling aku inginkan. Ini dikarnakan aku sempat belajar otodidak hangeul dan suka kebudayaan mereka. Selain itu teknologi dan prestasi akademis universitas-universitas disana yang udah diakui dunia.
Ini membuat aku searching lebih serius soal beasiswa ke negeri ginseng itu sejak taun 2009. Tahun 2010 aku gak punya kesempatan. Lalu tahun 2011 akhirnya aku nyoba!!!

Maret lalu aku mulai sibuk liat universitas mana yang cocok dan akhirnya jatuhlah ke Kangwon National University.
Aku mengirim semua yang diperlukan untuk menyeleksi calon penerima beasiswa dari pemerintah Korea tersebut. Oya, nama organisasinya NIIED (National Institute for International Education). Beasiswa yang aku pilih itu KGSP 2011 khusus postgraduate/doctoral programme.

Beasiswa ini termasuk prestisius terlebih saat ini dengan populernya negara asal SNSD itu. Liat aja sinetron-sinetron Indonesia banyak yang 'terinspirasi' dari drama Korea atau musik-musiknya yang lagi-lagi 'terinspirasi' bagi boyband Indo. hehe :p

Belum lagi universitas-universitas di Indo banyak yang berkerjasama dengan universitas di Korea yang memungkinkan pertukaran pelajar. Pokoknya buat aku sekolah kesana itu menggiurkan :)

Seleksi terbagi atas 3 bagian. Berhubung aku apply lewat universitas, aku diseleksi oleh pihak Kangwon, lalu ke NIIED dan terakhir final. Nah.. pengumuman kedua datang dipertengahan April lalu. Aku buka forum NIIED di facebook dan hampir semuanya kayak aku, DEG-DEGAN!!!

Lalu setelah diumumkan, aku pun melihat dereten-deretan nama yang tidak ada mencantumkan namaku.
Well.. Im fail :(

Rasanya lemes seharian mengingat perjuanganku, jatuh-bangunku dan waktuku. Sebelumnya aku selalu ngingatin diri aku untuk mempersiapkan kemungkinan yang terburuk tapi setelah dialami rasanya nyakitin juga.

Untunglah ada libur dan aku bisa keluar dari pikiran kegagalan itu.

Sekarang aku tau lewat pengalaman itu, aku belajar untuk berani memulai sesuatu, mencoba dan bangkit dengan hasil yang gak sesuai sama yang aku harapkan. Aku masih sering bepikir kalo aku terlalu sok untuk dapat beasiswa dan ngelanjut sekolah. Udah.. lu kerja aja trus nikah, itu sering aku dengar dari sudut pemikiranku yang dangkal. Tapi, ada juga suara-suara yang terus mendukungku untuk mencoba lagi dan lagi :)

Well.. guys sekarang aku masih ditengah-tengah pencarian beasiswa dengan bantuan om google serta kirim email ke beberapa institusi. Mungkin itu semua akan berakhir dengan hasil yang sama seperti sebelumnya. Tapi aku gak bakalan pernah tau kemungkinan itu kalo gak nyoba.
Keep dreaming, guys :)

Bread, Love and Dreams

Mengawali tahun 2011 aku mau 'promosiin' drama yang bagus :)
Judulnya Bread, Love and Dreams *basiii ;p*



Hehe.. sebenarnya ini drama udah lama di Korea sono, aku dengar populer juga udah lama. Tapi belum niat buat nonton.
Tapi setelah liat diputar di TV swasta tanah air, aku langsunggggg suka.
Hiks.. Tak Goo nya baekkk banget *mupeng dot com ;p*
Anyway, drama ini bercerita tentang Tak Goo (Yoon Si Yoon) yang terpaksa berpisah dari ibu kandungnya dan tinggal dirumah ayah kandungnya seorang direktur perusahaan pembuat roti bernama Geo Seong, yang udah punya istri dan 3 anak. Selain berpisah dengan ibu, Tak Goo juga harus berpisah dengan cinta pertamanya Shin Yoo Kyung (Eugene).
Tak Goo kecil harus menerima kenyataan sang ibu tiri dan salah saudara tirinya, Goo Ma Joon (Joo Won) sangat membencinya. Apalagi saat perhatian sang ayah yang jelas-jelas jadi beda sendiri pada Tak Goo.
Masalah kian lama makin pelik, sang Nenek tiba-tiba meninggal, belum lagi saat Tak Goo tahu sang Ibu dalam bahaya. Hal ini membuat Tak Goo memutuskan pergi dari rumah demi menyelamatkan sang Ibu.
Naasnya Tak Goo berpisah dari Ibunya dan menjadikan hidupnya hanya memiliki satu tujuan mencari Ibunya. Berpuluh tahun kemudian ia mendapat petunjuk dari sebuah toko roti Pal Bong yang menunjuk pada penculik Ibunya.
Sayangnya sang pemilik mengusir Tak Goo dan atas saran Kakek Pal Bong, agar dapat masuk ke toko tersebut ia dapat belajar mebuat roti disana. Akhirnya demi bertemu sang penculik, Tak Goo pun rela bekerja di toko roti Pal Bong.
Dari toko roti inilah hidup Tak Goo banyak berubah dan mulai menemukan mimpi dan ketertarikannya pada roti.
Perlahan waktu ia mulai menemukan misteri sang penculik, rival beratnya Seo Tae Jo, sang cinta pertama, ayah kandungnya, sang musuh, keberadaan sang Ibu dan cinta sejatinya :)

Well.. you SHOULD watch!!
Akting Yoon Si Yoon bagus banget dan CAKEP!!! ^0^