Hard To Be Humble

Today I got so many lessons. And its kinda disappointing :(

It started from a simple wish from me. I guess it was so simple. I've asked and hoped from several months ago but made sure about last week. Please.. please.. please make it happen...

But then reality came and the result was totally different from what I expected. I was so disappointed and angry. Why.. was that a big problem? Can I get something that I want just for now? Why everything looks different but Im in the same situation? I've been through hard time a year so why cant I get what I chose... hiks..hiks..

That's it! The monster named selfishness appeared.
See.. I can not accept what I wish. That moment I got hit so hard about acceptance. I didnt know how to accept is hard enough until today. I guess I always get what I want lately so I forget about things that I cant control by myself.

When I get what I wish all the time, everything would be so natural and ordinary. But when I cant get what I wish, I learn to ask why. Sometimes I can get the answer immediately but sometimes I have no clue at all and that's the time I need to be more humble  and learn step by step to accept. Im not saying Im a superhuman who can be changed in a minute. Nope... Even now its still disappointing. But at least I want to try to make myself to be down to earth.

Its hard. Honestly it does... But then I realize again when I try to learn those things I make my wish again... Wish comes even from bitter things...