I am (NOT) Bulletproof and Titanium

Im just an ordinary person who can be hurt even by words by texts...

I got text today from someone and it hurts me a lot. Why.. oh why God??? Why this person is exist in my life? Why she did that and not telling me directly? Why does she sooooo annoying?

Those questions were running inside my head.

Its just the beginning. I called my mom who's sick and taken care in the hospital. She said this morning she felt sick again and had to take another medicine. Its been so long she feels the pain on her stomach. Im so scared and have nothing to do except praying.

And then again. Why Lord?

As usual, when something doesnt work as I planned before, I ask why. But when it happens like what I want, I dont need to ask why. I feel I deserve it.

So selfish, right? :(

I know again and again how I can not faraway from His grace. I cant do anything except leaning into His arms. I cant rely on to people around me. Those things again are trying to teach me that my heart is NOT mine. Because after I cried, then I prayed, I feel so relieved that there is SOMEONE who can take care of those.

My matters and worries are not suddenly vanish. But there is a feeling. Warm and relaxing.. that Im not alone.. Thank You...